


Save Me From Myself

by twentyoneboyfriends (suicider00m)



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 20:13:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6298609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suicider00m/pseuds/twentyoneboyfriends
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh has problems, except he doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save Me From Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Drown by Bring Me The Horizon

Josh isn’t fucked up, except for when he is.

…

It’s funny how even in a two man band, nobody pays attention to the drummer. Josh isn’t as important as Tyler, not by a long shot. He’s aware of his inadequacy, but it doesn’t really bother him (he’s lying, it does).

It’s not like Josh does anything really meaningful. Tyler is the one who writes lyrics about wanting to kill himself, about finding purpose and making it through the night to see the light of a new day. He gives hope where there is none, inspiration to a lost generation. Tyler saves lives; Josh plays the drums. 

It’s not as though he’s not important. Josh knows that Twenty One Pilots wouldn’t be the same without him. He throws his heart, his soul, his _everything_ into his performance. He plays the drums until his sticks break and his hands bleed, and then he plays some more. Josh knows for a fact that the band wouldn’t be here without him. 

He matters, except he feels like he doesn't.

…

He’s making a difference, he tells himself. Even if it’s just in Tyler’s life, it’s a difference nonetheless, and that counts for something (but not much, he thinks). 

He saves Tyler and Tyler saves the fans, so he’s saving people too, right?

Except Tyler needs Josh to save him less and less. Now Josh is the one with the nightmares, the panic attacks, the suicidal tendencies. Josh spent so much time helping Tyler that he forgot how to help himself. He falls deeper and deeper into his sadness (not depression because he’s not depressed, _Tyler_ is the one who's depressed), doesn’t ask for help because he doesn’t need any, okay? He’s fine, Tyler is the one with the real issues. 

Sometimes he feels like he can’t breathe because everything is too much, but that’s not really an issue. It only happens once a day (sometimes twice, sometimes more) and it doesn’t last too long, so it’s not a big deal. And he’s not reckless, he just forgets to look before crossing the street and he likes high places, is that a crime? It’s not like he’s going to kill himself (on purpose). It’s not a problem.

He doesn’t need to be saved, except he really does.

**Author's Note:**

> why do I always make them suffer :')


End file.
